Tuesday, 27 December 2016

The Disorganised Mother at Christmas

I've decided to be a bit honest about Christmas. I'd love to tell you that it was the most fantastic time of the year and that I enjoyed it 100% but honestly it was pretty stressful. Every year I tell myself I will be more organised but it never happens and it all ends up being a mad rush and I don't get to enjoy half of it.


Last Christmas I said the same thing. Next year I will start my shopping early. We didn't have a very good Christmas last year as my mother in law had died about 4 weeks before so my husband's heart just wasn't in it. It was a crap Christmas in fact.

I desperately wanted this year to be different but September came and went and I hadn't made any lists. Then my husband got made redundant so that put a bit of a dampener on this time of year and that I had to return to work. This meant that I wasn't free to keep the house in shape and of course start the Christmas shopping.

My mum and family also decided to come back for a holiday from Australia for 3 weeks and were landing on 23rd December. I couldn't wait but there were home improvements that needed to be completed by the time they came back and we also had to buy new beds for them to sleep on as our spare room became Ophelia's room when she was born.

My husband is extremely easy going. He's so laid back, he's horizontal. He's always late for everything and seems to do everything very last minute. You can imagine how much stress this caused me over the Christmas period when we needed to get everything done.

So let me take you to December 22nd. I was still Christmas shopping in town, buying anything. I was gutted as I knew I hadn't thought about gifts properly and was just getting whatever was left at this point. I got home at 10pm, exhausted.

Then it was December 23rd, the day I had to pick my mum and sisters up from Heathrow. Instead of doing nice things with Eva and Ophelia I was ironing, cleaning and wrapping presents. My husband was in IKEA buying any beds he could find. It was a nightmare. He was then moving furniture around and in general causing chaos. I left to pick my family up from the airport and got back after midnight and didn't go to bed until 1.30am. 

I was then up at 6am to look after the kids. I was one tired, stressed out mummy. Christmas eve should be a day to be enjoyed but what was I doing, manically wrapping all the presents in a very haphazard manner. We did manage to pop to our local winter wonderland for a couple of hours which was lovely. I threw together a Christmas eve box with anything I could find in the local supermarket. This really upset me as this was a tradition I started on Eva's first Christmas and all i'd put in this basket was a load of crap and she knew it. She didn't like it at all. That was the start of the mum guilt.

We finally got Eva to sleep and I realised that we hadn't put anything out for Santa. She'd made bags of reindeer food and I felt awful. So what did I do? I woke her up. Bad mum alert. She loved putting the plate out for him but again the mum guilt started as not only had I woken her up but it was once again a half hearted attempt at something that should be so special to a child.

Christmas morning started early (after a very late night to bed the night before). Eva was happy but then I heard the words that Santa didn't bring me what I wanted. My heart sank. Hubby also upset me but i won't go into that. I managed to keep it together for a while but then had to take myself off to bed for a nap where I just cried. Silly I know but I sobbed for a good hour. 

Mum guilt can be such a bitch (excuse my language) and don't our kids have the ability to make us feel like heroes once second and the worst parents on the earth the next. I knew this year was mostly my fault for being so disorganised. I really wanted it to be stress free, easy and enjoyable as it was Eva's first year of really understanding and she was so excited. 

I've put all this in a blog post so that next year I can remember just how horrible it was and hopefully get my shit together. Christmas should be a time for family enjoyment and special moments not rushing around trying to make everything perfect but missing out on all the excitement.

How was your Christmas? Were you a disorganised parent or did you manage to get it all sorted with plenty of time to spare?

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23 comments

  1. Sorry, but I'm the super organised mum! I had all my wrapping done in November!

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    1. So jealous! Next year this will be me

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  2. ah sorry to hear that you had a stressful christmas. my youngest two and I have been poorly with some strange virus 😣

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  3. Ah sorry to hear your Christmas was a bit stressful, I totally understand you though. It's pretty hard to have it all together at Christmas between one thing and another

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  4. Aw that's such a shame but I bet the kids won't really be any the wiser even though you feel they are. I've been ill a lot this year so we didn't do much at all in the run up to Christmas. I felt really guilty too but but I think (hope) that it's all in my head as the kids seemed to have a lovely albeit quiet Christmas.

    At least you know what you'll do differently next year x x

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  5. I'm not really organized at xmas. I did most of my shopping two days before x

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  6. I am so disorganized as well and it means that Christmases or any occasion in general can be stressful. Here's hoping next year works out better for you.

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  7. I feel your pain, i really do, but you are completely normal. Most people aren't 100% organised, especially with young children and all the other demands on our time. We sometimes manage to do a few things to ease the stress but perhaps make a list right now in order of priority next year? At least then you will have that as a starting point even if you don’t look at it until the christmas decorations come out..... stick it on the fridge and tick things off ... i love lists! 😊

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  8. I'm so sorry you felt so upset on Christmas Day. It sounds like you had so much going on in the run up to Christmas so please don't beat yourself up. Mum Guilt is horrible but completely pointless, try to let it go xxx

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  9. It sounds like you tried really hard to please everyone, so you really should just give yourself a huge pat on the back, run a nice hot bath and take yourself off with a glass of wine and some chocolates. The important thing was you were together. Next year, shop online :)

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  10. Oh no, sounds like a stressful time. My son took one look at a present and exclaimed he hated it. You cannot please everyone all of the time sadly. I always start my xmas shopping in august after the last birthday - I will give you a prod next year x

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  11. Oh no I am sorry Christmas was a stress for you lovely. Look on it as a learning curve rather than a negative though x

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  12. Mine didn't go to plan either, I have one daughter with health issues that give her trouble sleeping so don't know why I told myself I could get both girls asleep, presents under the tree and my self in bed by 11.30 (more like 2 then woke up at 6) I'm a planner addict and have one for everything so this year I will set one up just for Christmas

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  13. Sorry to hear that you had a stressful time. I can't get myself organised before big events as well.

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  14. I wonder how your husband feels about you publicly berating him when he has just been made redundant. You were lucky enough to have your mum with you at xmas, something he'll never be able to have again. I think you need to learn to appreciate all you have.

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    1. Anonymous. Did you read the same post as me? I think Kerry was quite clear that as a family the death of her mother in law and the redundancy had made it difficult for the whole family. Berating her husband? He is there for her, they are together, strong and loving. I am so happy she has a mum to share Christmas with. I'm not jealous, or mean, I just wish I did too.

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  15. Oh Kerry I'm sorry it wasn't everything that you had hoped it would be. Start planning Christmas 2017 NOW!
    Both myself and my husband are ridiculously laid back and leave things till too late and I always end up regretting it.

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  16. Oh Kerry you are going to hate me, but I am still like this and I have 30 years more experience! I hate that Christmas starts so early so I put it off, then three days before I panic as I have no food or presents. So its a mad dash to the shops and pick up whatever is left. Then the big day arrives and I think of all the fantastic things I should have bought, the family arrive and I stress over the bird, is it cooked will I kill everyone? I get so exhausted, I can't eat. I am so keen to make it magical but I have NEVER woken a child up! Wow, that is beyond the call of duty, go you. Then, can you remember Christmas when you were 3? or 4? or 5? No, and they won't. This is all practise for when they are teenagers and whatever you do then isn't cool but they will think of it as traditions and love it.
    You are a fab Mum, just perfectly normal in every way.
    Sally xx

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    1. You're right! I don't remember it. X

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  17. Please don't be so hard on yourself. It sounds like you've had a tough time recently and a lot to juggle. If it makes you feel any better I was a disorganised mum this year too x

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  18. Hey lovely lady! My 4yr old was super excited christmas morning and then a bit later told me that Father Christmas "didn't bring me any Shopkins"' in fact she added that he must have brought her other children's toys!!! She as yet to really go on her scooter she got...having some sort of bizarre protest I think!!! Thing is she thinks that Father Christmas can read minds. My skills in this area are lacking and so you can see the confusion!! I did have a pang of guilt but then shoved it to the side as quite frankly my kids are very fortunate just like yours; you're a fabulous mummy! There is nothing to be guilty about when we think about it. And what would Christmas be without some frazzled exchanges with t'other half? All in the realms of 'normality' if you ask me.

    My Christmas day was rather easy breezy. Well as easy breezy and Christmas can be!!! I love Christmas. This year we made sure we were as organised as poss before Christmas Eve and that made for a far less hectic big day though don't think for a second it wasn't exhausting...up til 3am on 23rd (or should that be 24th??) razzle dazzling the kiddies presents (you know...such things like the scooter which was so well received! Ha! Note the sarcasm!). We even managed to go to the kids party at the pub on Christmas Eve - totally recommend!

    Despite all this t'other half was still zonked snoring on the sofa 45mins after the kids had gone to bed on Christmas Day - I ended up watching the Lady in the Van whilst he snored in my ear. Not quite what I had in mind.....! I mean they don't do that on the Christmas films do they?!!! Zoe x

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  19. Oh Kerry what a stressful time. I think the pressure we put on ourselves is far too much. This year I felt organized by Christmas Eve but that was because we went on holiday until then. The day before we left was like yours. Next year we're going away to avoid the stress!

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